Man with suspected coronavirus just has manflu


What begun as an ordinary day for Jim Smith soon turned into something out of his worst nightmare.

“I’d had a really good day yesterday culminating in a celebratory Chinese take out meal, but then woke up this morning with dry throat, a cough, a bit of a temperature and shortness of breath.”

Jim checked his symptoms on the CDC’s website and saw that these were the symptoms of the 2019 novel coronavirus!

However, his wife, Jane, was unconvinced, “Of course he’s got a dry throat after eating Chinese with that MSG dodgy flavour enhancer in it.  His cough and shortness of breath is from his smoking. And it’s no wonder he’s got a temperature given that he’s in bed layered under multiple duvets!”

Jim though was adamant and demanded that his doctor made a house call as he was too poorly to get out of bed (except for getting some “essential” snacks).

Despite the urgency of his request, the doctor took a couple of hours before he visited and by then Jim was on death’s door.

“I could barely talk, apart from gasping for my wife to bring me a cool towel for my forehead and more food – after all my body needs energy to fight this thing.”

The doctor’s prognosis was a shock for Jim.

“He was very dismissive, saying that I had manflu and should just get on with life.  I mean how could he say that – manflu is more deadly than the corona virus!  How much life was left to me to ‘get on with’ before I died?” 

“I mean, we men share stories around the campfire of the great heroes who have battled manflu and survived.  Would I join them their ranks or become yet another sad statistic?”

“Sadly, after the doctor my wife stormed off and left me on my own.  I think it was because she can’t stand the sight of blood and me dying a gruesome death from manflu would be justy too much for her.”

Since this site is suitable for families we won’t share any pictures of Jim nor described his lonely struggle.  Suffice to say that Jim has joined the ranks of heroes that survived manflu and did so in only 24 hours: a testament to his virility.”

Have you successfully battled against the corona virus or it’s more deadly manflu version?  Let us know so that we can sing your praises. 

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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