Planned Parenthood Poultry Promo Pulled!


Planned Parenthood’s Poultry Promo has been pulled after complaints from PETA.

The month long promotion promised a free Thanksgiving turkey to every abortion recipient in the weeks leading up to the national holiday.

A spokesperson for Planned Parenthood stated, “As hard as 2020 has been we figured people needed something to be thankful for.  And until now all our abortion recipients left our clinics empty handed.  So this promotion ensured that everyone went home with a free ‘healthy 9 lbs. bundle of joy’ (aka Thanksgiving Turkey). Even with one less mouth to feed, we know budgets are tight during these unprecedented times.”

However, despite the success of the promo seeing abortions up nearly 200% in the month before Thanksgiving, PETA began protesting outside Planned Parenthood clinics throughout America:

“This heartless promotion of the slaughter of 10s of millions of innocent lives is an atrocity,” declared the spokesperson.

When our reporter asked whether this marked a move to PETA becoming pro-life, the protester clarified, “we meant the turkeys.”

Following the PETA protests, Planned Parenthood pulled the poultry promo. 

In a gesture of penance to PETA, Planned Parenthood offered to bury the remains of the turkeys with dignity and respect at a turkey memorial which they will erect on previously designated hunting grounds. The remaining land that they have purchased with government funds, will be converted into a private Turkey sanctuary.

PETA is now pushing for the next President to pardon all turkeys before thanksgiving.

Reporter: Michael Grannis

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