Salty Cee Writer Outraged by Oscars He Didn’t Watch

Sources at the internet’s number one source for satire have confirmed that one of their writers, Jeff the Comma Head (also known as Jeff the Comma Head,) was outraged by the overwhelming number of political comments made during Sunday night’s Oscars broadcast even though he didn’t watch a single moment of the program.

“It’s just horrible what these rich, out of touch, liberal Hollywood elites had to say.  The attacks on our nation, our President and our Judeo-Christian values should anger everyone who believes in our great nation,” exclaimed a visibly upset Jeff.

When questioned about which specific comments were upsetting, Jeff remarked, “You know, all that trash talk about Donald Trump.  Support for socialism.  Bashing Christians.  Praising alternative, fringe lifestyles and making them seem like the norm.  All the usual stuff.”

We then asked Jeff how does he know what was said if he didn’t watch the program and he explained, “I don’t have to watch it.  It’s the same thing over and over.  Every year, these actors and actresses, directors and producers, come out and shove their political agendas down our throats.  The Oscars, the Grammys, the Tonys, they’re all just 3 hour political indoctrinations disguised as awards shows.  Even the voting is based on politics.  I mean, it’s shameful, really.”

“And did you see which movie won Best Picture?  No, seriously, did you see, ‘cause I missed the entire show.  It wasn’t a movie about a fish again, was it?”

Reporter: Jeff the Comma Head