President Trumps finally finds a way to tweet everyone


President Trump is infamous for his Tweets.

However, he recently discovered that not everyone uses Twitter.  And some people are allowed, under the constitution, to block or mute his account.

For a president that has something to say not having people listen is frustrating.

So after pulling some strings, he was finally able to tweet 300 million phones simultaneously today using the so-called “presidential alert”.

Shares in Apple and Samsung fell 40% after the first test tweet today.

However, there is some good news.  There has been an inexplicable surge in the sale of phones which do not receive texts such as the classic flip phone. Prices on ebay have rocketed by over 3000% in the last hour alone.

In addition, productivity at work has increased as people switched off their phones in preparation for his first presidential alert.

President Trump was quick to hail this a giant success for the economy as well as his ego.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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