Supreme Court rules in favor of armed visitors


In a narrow 4-3 ruling on Tuesday, the Supreme Court overturned President Trump’s travel ban on countries where there are insufficient security checks.

The judges expressed sympathy with the travel ban but ultimately concluded it would be hypocritical of them to judge people coming into this country with weapons when they themselves were descendants of such people.

“We came over to this great country and used our advanced weaponry to attack and displace the original inhabitants,” said Chief Justice John Roberts, “It seems only fair that others be afforded the same opportunity.”

A spokesperson from The American Civil Liberties Union expressed delight, “It’s great to see the President’s hatred of communism and socialism being overturned. We look forward to the immigration of our like-minded friends from North Korea and Venezuela joining us for the inevitable armed revolution.”

Liberal Christians hailed this as a Christ-like ruling, “Jesus taught us to do to others as we would have them do to us – well we shot up those Native Americans real good because we were looking forward to receiving the same treatment.”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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