Tensions High as Trump Anxiously Awaits God’s Next Set of Tablets

As God’s chosen vessel for America, President Trump is keen to do only what God instructs him to.

However, recently he has become increasingly anxious and has been seen pacing back and forth in the Oval Office, occasionally glancing at the pile of outdated stone tablets accumulating in the corner. Except that ovals don’t have corners.  But we digress.

The most recent set, now a month old, contained instructions for dealing with NATO which were faithfully executed.

“He said he’d have the new tablets ready in a few days, but that was a week ago. I’m not sure he even understands how important this is, at this point. I’ve got an entire country waiting for me, but I’m just the messenger. Without God doing his part, my hands are tied,” said Mr. Trump.

Sources reported that President Trump is planning to make the pilgrimage to Jerusalem to speak to God if the tablets don’t arrive by next week.

Reporter: Beverly S