The Parable of the Avengers End Game Tickets

The Avengers End Game tickets for US screenings dropped today and along with a new trailer and bizarrely a new parable appeared in the NIV.

Some believe this is due to the effects of the time stone wielded by Dr Strange before its capture, others just believe it to be as a result of the NIV abandoning any pretense of being a translation of the actual bible.

The Kingdom of Heaven is like ten geeks who took their credit cards and went out to meet the booking form on Fandango. Five were foolish, and five were wise. The foolish ones took their credit cards but did not have the page open in advance, but the wise ones had the internet page open and watched it like a hawk.

Now the booking form opened an hour earlier than anticipated and the wise geeks immediately noticed this and booked their tickets with no problem.

Then there was an internet announcement, ‘Here comes the tickets! Come and buy them!’

Then the foolish geeks awoke and tried to buy their tickets. However, by the time they opened the webpage the queue was already an hour.

The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of the tickets you purchased as the queue is very long.’

“‘No,’ they replied, ‘then the seats won’t be together with our friends and might be those ones right at the front that give us neck ache. Instead, go and wait patiently until you get through.’

“But while they were trying to buy the tickets, the site crashed. The geeks who were ready went on social media and did boast of their ease.

“When the foolish geeks finally got the page to load they pleaded with Fandango. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the booking form for us!’

“But Fandango replied, ‘Truly I tell you, the tickets have all gone, except those ones at the front that give you neck ache.’

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour that they actually release Marvel’s Avengers End Game tickets.”

Meanwhile in England, the tickets have not been released despite the film opening a day earlier than the US.  However, we know that when it happens the English will form an orderly queue without all the fussing of those loud Americans.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible