The Top 20 Articles Wot We Never Wrote in 2019
In the New Year, many sites give you their top 20 best articles from the previous year.
But not us!
(and not just because none of them would rank as best in anybody’s list)
No, we at the Salty Cee have a list of the top 20 articles wot we didn’t write.
Something about having a real life and the Salty Cee Interns rambling on about fair treatment. I tell you in my day we would have been grateful for the opportunity the work for such an esteemed publication as the Cee.
Anyway, we digress.
Here they are in all their glory:
- New England Patriots admit to using necromancy
- CNN Prints fake news story
- Weather remains cold in the winter
- American actually uses the word “fetching”
- Church goers simultaneously greet each other with “doing fine”
- Elon Musk makes a lot of promises and does nothing else
- Photo of black hole found, said to be “definitely real”
- Thousands sign up for New Green Deal’s “get paid to not work” clause
- MLB team in your town admits to phoning it in
- Salty Cee readers increase from 8 to 10
- Social Media challenges that involve self-harm considered by some to be “not good”
- Politician actually helps common man, immediately gets impeached
- Martians offended by “little green men” slur
- Americans still unable to imitate British accents
- Sufferings of Christ now include tithing
- Homeless man found writing Salty Cee articles
- Parts of hell include movie reboots, sequels, and live action remakes
- ‘Cats’ expected to win best picture
- Christians spend more money on wrapping paper than world evangelism, more time wrapping presents than actually evangelizing and more time listening to rap music than quality hymns from at least 200 years ago.
- Some reader actually made it to the end of this list without wandering off to another site…hey! Come back now! We’re not finished yet!
Did we throw these fine ideas away? No, we did not.
Because here at the Cee we’re environmentally friendly and recycle everything. Especially the same old jokes.
Until next time our fine readers.
Reporter: The lonely rogue