To Cee or not to Cee that is the question


Following the cease and desist order we received from your trusted #1 source for Christian news satire, the Cee quickly ran a “new name competition” to prevent any unpleasant consequences us pretty writers would receive in jail.

The best (mostly alliteration) entries were as follows:

  • The Satirical Squirrel
  • The Satirical Saint
  • The Awkward Apostle
  • The Parody Pea
  • The Bethel Badger
  • The Persian Parrot
  • The Persian Praying Mantis
  • The Jerusalem Jaguar
  • The Nineveh Knee
  • Balaam’s Donkey or Balaam’s *ahem*

A special shout-out to the entry from the Jewish Sean Connery: Shofar Shogood.

A number of other entries were good but the spelling would’ve caused even more problems to our socially challenged trolls:

  • The Psalty Sea
  • The Nazareth Narwhal
  • Nebuchadnezzar’s News
  • The Salty Sadducee
  • The Samarian Salamander
  • The Amorite Aphid
  • The Chaldean Cricket
  • The Macedonian Muse
  • The Megiddo mosquito
  • The Philippian Flea
  • The Satiricat
  • The Good Satirican
  • Sampson’s Hairytales

Some excellent but rather long names were:

  • The artist formally known as the Babylon CEE
  • The Overwhelming Never-ending Reckless News of God
  • The Leaning Tower of Babel

And I genuinely have no idea why I laughed at the suggestion – The Bethelehem Goat.  But I did.  Sorry about that.

A number of other entrants were optimistic that The Babylon Bee would approve the following because of a one word difference:

  • The Babylon Honey Bee
  • The Babylon Butterfly
  • The Babylon Wasp
  • The Babble on Bee
  • The Babylon BLT
  • Not the Babylon Bee
  • The Babylon Dee

Special shout out to JasonP479 who pointed out how historically Christians have fallen out over even one letter: homoousios and homoiousios.  So it appears the Bee were really rather gracious.

And methinks the people who submitted the following used a synonym generator on you know who:

  • The Persian Pollinator
  • The Chaldean Wasp

And then we had the clever plays on our current name – we’re not sure whether we’d sue ourselves for infringement though:

  • The Salty Cee
  • The Satirical Cee
  • The Macedonian Cee
  • The Nolybab Eec (it’s the Babylon Cee backwards, in case you were wondering)
  • The BabyCyclon Cee (for Battlestar Galatica fans)
  • Babylon Ceased (The new name if we didn’t change our current name fast enough)
  • The Babble On…See

Finally, there were various entries that seemed to imply that we were actually a news website….

  • Breaking Faith News
  • Jesus Juke Journal
  • Evangelical Examiner
  • The Gilead Gazette
  • The Patmos Post
  • The Roman Reporter
  • The Ninevah News
  • The Nazarene Noise
  • The Canaan Kindling
  • The Tarsus Times
  • The Disciples Dispatch
  • Almost News Network

We’ll hopefully announce the new name by the end of the weekend and have the new website out by the end of next week.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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