Research Links Pickup Truck Ownership to Superiority Complex
Well, the title is a little misleading, because the only research we have is from a guy named Joe Bob who enlightened our staff with his conspiracy theory about the connection between pickup trucks and feeling superior to others.
You may be wondering how this is even possible because after all, cars don’t define people, do they? Our source says, “Y’all, they absolutely do!” (Quoting Joe Bob).
Put yourself in the seat of a Ford F-350 with a 27 inch lift kit and tell me you don’t feel bigger than everyone else and more superior to them!
You can’t do it, because the level at which you are sitting lends itself to power and prestige—oh, and a better view than those silly smart cars.
After thousands of years of study as to why some people look down on others, we can let humanity know that a hill billy named Joe Bob with a really big pickup truck has answered this definitively.
Everyone, please breathe a huge sigh of relief, it’s going to be okay.
Well, unless you don’t own a pickup truck.
In that case, you are one of the little people that Joe Bob spits his chew on below.
Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker