Toddler Discovers that Baby Sharks are Still Predators


SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Little Peggy Sue was so enamored by the repeated singing of everyone’s least favorite hit (Baby Shark) that one day she decided to wander off from her daycare and attempt to pet a baby shark.

She had heard her daddy speak about the Leopard sharks and Pacific Angel sharks in San Francisco Bay, so the thought of hugging a cuddly shark seemed to intrigue her.

The daycare was situated along the seashore, thus making Peggy Sue’s escape fairly easy; also, everyone else was so caught up in all 37 verses of “Baby Shark” that no one noticed her escape. But what she was about to find out would haunt her more than the actual song haunts us.

As she began walking along the beach, she saw a shark’s fin and decided to get a closer look. You might think that this story ends in tragedy, and while it sort of does, it is not the kind of tragedy your mind is likely thinking.

One of the workers at the daycare did a random headcount and came up one person short. So, after about fifteen minutes, they decided that they should find the child before the parents returned.

When the staff member found Peggy Sue, she was safe and sound, since it was only a scuba diver with a fin on his head, trying to scare surfers away. The daycare employee then taught the young girl that sharks bite and that even baby sharks are not okay to play with.

As for the creep in the scuba suit, no one knows what become of him. However, the moral of the story is twofold: first of all, watch out for sharks because they are predators, and second, watch out for grown men in shark fin hats because they are probably predators too.

Now, let’s all sing, “Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo…”

Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker

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