Trump’s immigration policy keeps lunar eclipse at bay


The second lunar eclipse of 2019 will occur today, Friday 27 July 2018, and will be visible everywhere except America.

Opponents claim that Trump’s immigration policy is responsible for Americans missing out on the longest lunar eclipse of the century, totally an outstanding 103 minutes.

“Trump’s xenophobia has meant that not even celestial events feel welcome here,” fumed one Never Trumper, “at this rate not even the sun will feel welcome and we’ll be plunged into darkness!”

America is also going to miss out on being able to see Mars, Jupiter, and the International Space Station during the eclipse.  Mars is also at its closest point to Earth since 2003.

“The way Trump threatens other countries, such as North Korea and Iran, on Twitter, it’s no wonder that they are seeing a blood moon.  It’s indicative of the war that’s coming due to his disastrous foreign policy!” exclaimed one member of ANTIFA.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible

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