9 out of 10 Christians admit to only liking Jesus’ head

Church Life

A recent survey of Christians by the Institute of Research revealed that a staggering 9 out of 10 of them only love Jesus’ head.

We at the Cee were as shocked as you by the result.

Surely Christians should love and cherish all of Jesus?

Certainly, the first question of the survey, “Do you love Jesus?” was answered in the affirmative by more than 99% of Christians.

The remaining 1% were men who were worried about being seen as rather effeminate by saying that they loved Jesus.

However, the second question, “Do you love the Church?” was answered negatively by 50% of Christians.

With a further 40% found to be lying under closer questioning.

With complaints ranging from their taste in worship music, to how they sing, to hypocrisy (not their own, of course), poor preaching and wrong theology (especially those of “other” denominations).

In fact, many had left churches (the so-called church hopping phenomenon), denominations and even become “unchurched” because of these issues.

When the Institute pointed out that the Church was “the body of Christ”, Christians were quick to employ numerous cognitive dissonance techniques to explain away the dichotomy of their beliefs:

“Well obviously, I do really ‘love’ the church but….[insert excuse here].”

Based on this research, one things for sure: Christians prefer Jesus’ head to his body.

Future research is to be undertaken to see whether Jesus’ efforts at spreading the gospel would have been more effective without creating the church.  With this new research project to be named “quit while you’re a head”.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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