Archeologists Uncover Pyrotechnics at the Feeding of the 5000

There is a lot of debate about churches that use pyrotechnics for their 4th of July Spectaculars. However, archaeologists at Northworst Seminary have uncovered evidence that fireworks were part of the Feeding of 5000.

They dug up a boat that was on the bottom of the lake that was filled with Aerial, Batter and Barrage fireworks. Apparently, the barrage was so powerful during the finale that it sunk the boat.

A booth was uncovered that was used to pass out bottle rockets for teenagers. There were thousands of sparklers buried near petrified pieces of bread. They also found a tablet that apparently documented the whole show.

In addition to fireworks, there were clowns who made balloon animals, cotton candy and boiled peanuts. Hence we can conclude that if our Lord used fireworks at the Feeding of the 5000 then he would have greatly approved of fireworks for 4th of July ceremonies and indeed any other church event.

An expedition is under way to see if something similar occurred at the Feeding of the 4000.

Reporter: Northworst Seminary