Please stay where you are – help is on the way!

 You have arrived on this page for one of two reasons:

1. You thought our article was real and not satire

2. You obsessively click on any link in a post

Either way you are in need of extensive counselling.

We have your location and have contacted professionals who will be with you shortly.

The Salty Cee: where even the worst satire floats.