Communion of saints sue church for discrimination

Church Life

Today, November 1st, the communion of Saints has issued legal proceedings against the Protestant church for discrimination.

St Peter, spokesman for the saints issued this statement, “Yesterday, October 31 was Halloween and was celebrated by many people who identify as Christians.  Yet today on All Saints Day, there is nothing.  We’re lucky if anyone even remembers that it is All Saints Day, let alone celebrates it.”

Despite the Apostle Peter blocking Paul on social media, they showed a united front for this latest campaign.  St Paul added, “For centuries Christians have laid down their lives for their faith only to be ignored by the Protestants who instead favour celebrating darkness.  This is the clearest case of discrimination we have seen since Nero and this lawsuit seeks reparations.”

The reparations required by the Communion of saints include swapping over the dates of Halloween and All Saints Day, helium balloons and fireworks.

It remains to be seen whether the Protestant church will seek an out of court settlement involving dressing up.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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