Joel Osteen bitten by werewolf. Releases Halloween book!
We at the Cee genuinely thought 2020 couldn’t get any worse when we heard that Stephenie Meyers had released a new Twilight book but how little did we know.
As we head into Halloween 2020, we have received official confirmation that Joel Osteen has contracted lyncanthropy after being bitten by a werewolf.
The consequences of this are huge!
It was bad enough when Joel covered his signature smile with a facemask and plunged the world into darkness – but what will be the consequences of him turning into a rabid wolf on the full moon?
It appears that Pastor Osteen anticipated the concerns and has released a book telling his readers that not only is he doing well as a werewolf – but he is living his best life nooooooooooooooooooow.
I’ll see myself out.
Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible