KJV study reveals typo: masks part of the Apocalypse!

Church Life

While reading through the book of Revelation, young scholar and critic Ivan Idea was suddenly struck with inspiration so great that it forced him to put down his latte and scone and take a second look.

He noticed that in all of his apocalyptic studies and by watching reruns of the X-Files, he was on to something. Could it be that he has discovered the breakthrough of the millennium, or even the decade?

Ivan’s discovery is earth-shattering, to say the least! Christians have been confused (thiking YouTube going down was the start of the Apocalypse or confusing Thanos clicking his fingers with the rapture).

Upon studying the original language in which the Bible was written (King James English, of course), he noticed that the letter “R” was supposed to be “S” in Revelation 13:16-17:

“And he causeth all, both small and great, free and bond, to receive a mark (mask?) in thier right hand, or in thier foreheads (face?): And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark (mask?), or the name of the beast (Dr. Fauci?), or the number of his name.”

All of the dots were now connecting: a mask would be required to enter businesses, it was carried in the right hand of those who were getting ready to put it on, and the advertised price for a new mask at Hot Topic (Satan’s bargain outlet) was $6.66!

This changes the entire apocalyptic scene! Not only do masks rob you of oxygen and slowly poison you with carbon monoxide, they are apparently of the Devil too!

Ivan Idea has recently been awarded an honorary doctorate in Medical Conspiracy Studies and Extreme Video Gaming from our partners in “educashun”: the distinguished Northworst Seminary.

It’s amazing how one small typo changes the entire course of human hysteria history!

Reporter: Angry Nursery Worker

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