Plain Milk to be renamed Caucasian Milk


 Washington, D.C. – An executive order was clandestinely put through by President Trump last night, considered by many political pundits to be the most progressive order yet.  As of today, by law, a container of plain milk must be referred to as “Caucasian milk.”

“Calling it white milk supported old ways of thinking and is quite spiteful. And those who are caught saying it, face a jail time and fine of up to $500 dollars.” The president then chugged an entire gallon of milk to conclude the press conference .

Hundreds of youth pastors support the bill seeing as they can now subject their teens to the “gallon challenge” every summer and can now claim they are doing it only to stay relevant.

“The new name is just what America and the world needs,” said well-known progressive blogger Libby Erral, “I used to be vegan but now that I found out about this, give me that Caucasian milk!”

Other types of milk such as chocolate, banana, or strawberry will henceforth be referred to as “milk of color.”

Other heads of state have supported the new milky bill, including Justin Trudeau who was particularly upset that he hadn’t thought of it first, as this was sure to be more inclusive for all peoplekind.

However, House speaker Nancy Pelosi was critical of the President’s motives, “Since Trump’s racist bone was discovered in a recent x-ray, this is just a cheap publicity stunt to distract attention from his genetic disposition to bigotry.”

However, we at the Cee are 100% convinced that this will put an end to racism.

Reporter: The lonely rogue

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