Man who identifies as righteous demands entry to heaven

Barry Smith has always known he was something special from a young age and identified as righteous at age 3.

“I just knew that I was perfect and that nothing was my fault.  But it wasn’t until I was 3 that I was able to properly articulate who I truly was to my parents.”

However, despite his self-identification not everyone was prepared to accept him for who he was.

“My parents often tried to convince me that I wasn’t perfect and told me off for things that I specifically denied doing.  In the end, I was forced to report them to social services as they were not supportive of my chosen holiness – which was just plain abusive.”

We asked how his school and university coped with his preferred sinless state.

“The new laws meant that they had to address me by my preferred pronoun of ‘His holiness’ and they were forbidden from telling me off or giving me anything less than 100% for my exams.  Only one teacher crossed the line but I soon had them fired after a twitter mob expressed outrage over their insensitivity.”

Finally we asked what his experience was with Christians.

“Well, as you know Christians are incredibly bigoted and some had the audacity to claim that everyone has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  When it’s clear that Paul’s statement was just cultural and not relevant to us today.  God made me this way and accepts me as I truly am and for so-called Christians to claim otherwise is just not loving or Christlike at all.”

Barry passed away recently and was last heard arguing with St Peter and demanding entry to heaven.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible