New range of biblical clothing launched

LifeWay may have closed their physical bookstores due to the efforts of conservative Christians but that hasn’t stopped them expanding their range online.

After the success of the “What Would Jesus Protest” bracelets for the young Millennials. they have decided to move into more biblical territory with a range of clothing based on bible verses.

First up is the “As the deer pants” based on Psalm 42 and featuring a lovely deer.  Different versions have been released for the US and UK markets to overcome the confusion over the translation of pants in the Hebrew. 

Though some conservative Christians have complained that the position of the aforementioned deer could lead to people meditating on things other than the Bible verse.

Next, robes of righteous are due for release by Easter and, for the modern day Pharisees, robes of self-righteousness as also available together with platform shoes for the vertically challenged who still want to look down on others..

Finally, Lifeway has plans to make clothing for those who want to mourn biblically by tearing their clothes, but don’t actually want to ruin their clothing.  The line of shirts feature velcro strips that allow removal of the arms, collar and even part of the shoulder to give that true impression of deep lamentation.

 Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible