The Salty Cee hits 100th article: writers can’t believe people still reading
Well believe it or not the Babylon Cee, I mean the Salty Cee is exactly 100 articles old!
We know what you’re thinking: “I thought they would have given up ages ago…”
But trust us when we say, “we can’t believe people are still reading this hoping for a funny article…”
Clearly our readers take inspiration from the parable of the persistent widow.
What better way to celebrate than to list the most viewed articles by author (on the off-chance that means that they are good, rather than people were sucked in by the clickbait headline and then left with that feeling of disappointment).
The most viewed article by far was when news of our cease and desist order was made public. It was great how people came from all over the internet to tell us how we were stupid for using the name The Babylon Cee. That really meant a lot to us.
So here are the top articles by author:
Angry Nursery worker‘s top article was on a 7th day Adventist buying a Chick-Fil-A franchise and offering Sunday hours.
We think he paid people to visit this article otherwise we have to assume there are a lot of ungodly Christians out there wanting to break the Sabbath.
John Spencer (aka Not the Bible) heads the league table with Matt Redman’s 10,000 reasons step challenge to improve the health of the church.
Though we suspect that this article was top simply because it was one of the first articles and there wasn’t anything better on the website to read….
Crass Christian‘s best article was surprisingly not his report on teenagers finding true love at church camp but actually one on Ray Steven’s being a prophet.
But that could be due to his extensive begging on Twitter and people feeling more sorry than usual for him.
Dr Parson Peeves‘ top article was his report on Standford University introducing a VBS trauma therapy program.
We suspect this got high views from many Christians hoping this wasn’t satire. We see a business opportunity here…
Furious Christian hit gold with his tear jerking report on the Nigerian Prince’s unsucceful attempts to transfer his money (though we confess we loved his article on K-Love expanding their playlist to an astonishing 10 songs).
He claims he’s now run out of inspiriation, but that hasn’t stopped the rest of us… *ahem*
ProtestANT-Man brought us word of Rich Mullins’ CD being the centre of a 10-year legal battle.
It’s good to know that after all these years Rich Mullins is still having an influence on Christians today.
Northworst Seminary is a recent addition to the teeam and his top article brought word of the Pope declaring that listening to CCM was actually purgatory.
Though we can’t help but wonder whether his first article was popular because readers were hoping someone new would be funnier…
Finally Peter James, who may not be a fully-fledged member of the team (something about having “standards” – whatever they are) but his article on the Sunday School state-of-the-art security system hit a chord.
Probably because it’s actually based on true events. Sorry Peter, I forgot I wasn’t supposed to mention that.
Well there you have it. 100 articles, 89 days, 8930 views.
For those who have recently joined us, these articles give you a taster of our best attempts at satire and we hope you realise that it’s all downhill from here onwards.
For those who have been with us since the beginning we want to thank you and let you know that we have informed the mental health professionals of your worrying condition.