Alien robot invasion stopped by reCAPTCHA


A global disaster was narrowly avoided last night as an alien robot attack force sought to subdue our computer systems as prelude to a full scale invasion.

Sadly, President Trump’s much vaunted Space Force was unable to stop the fleet amassing around the Earth’s atmosphere, as its astronauts had been arrested for violating the COVID-19  stay at home order.

“I though we were a-Gonna,” stated Beauford Boudreaux, who still hopes to be the first space chaplain, “so I was hidin’, I mean prayin’ so hard as I lay prone under my bed.”

However, despite the alien’s technological prowess, it seems that they were unable to pass the security steps needed to gain control of the world’s weaponry, banking and traffic control systems and Trump’s Twitter account. 

We interviewed Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen Mark A. Milley, to find out what happened.

“Well the aliens were quickly able to access the web, with the exception of Montana, and deduced our user names and passwords in a matter of seconds.”

“We were hopeful that the ‘click on all the squares which contain traffic lights’ CAPTCHA (an acronym for Completely Automated Public Turing) test would catch them out. But it seems that this test only confuses humans rather than bots.”

“However, it seems the alien robots were unable to get past our last but simplest reCAPTCHA: clicking the ‘I am not a robot box’.”

“Had it not been for this tick box and the honesty of the alien robot invaders, then we would have been facing complete extinction!” General Milley concluded.

In related news, complaints about annoying reCAPTCHA’s have fallen 80%, though sadly success rates amongst humans have still not climbed above 33% (true story!).

The alien invaders were last seen heading to Alpha Centuri, presumably hoping for a less annoying species to conquer.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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