Calvinist triggered by US presidential election


Initially Calvinists were pleased with the presidential debates between Trump and Biden as they were a perfect illustration of total depravity.

“To often parties choose candidates that appear to be wonderful on the outside which can lead people to go down the heretical path of thinking that they are good people.  But the two candidates chosen really demonstrated how fallen mankind is, and how much we need a saviour,” said a beaded Calvinist.

However, things all changed when they received their ballot through the post.

“While both these candidates certainly can’t be elected president on their own merits, I can’t believe that they expect me to help decide,” exclaimed another bearded Calvinist, “has America embrace Arminius?  Only God decides who is elected!

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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