Domino’s uses pineapple pizzas to repair potholes


Domino’s potholes: Domino’s announced on Monday that it was paying to repair potholes in towns across America.

In a great marketing move Russell Weiner, president of Domino’s USA, said:

“We don’t want to lose any great-tasting pizza to a pothole, ruining a wonderful meal. Domino’s cares too much about its customers and pizza to let that happen.”

People can nominate their town’s for road repair through their Facebook page and there has been an overwhelming response.

While some people are branding this move as dystopian the truth about the repairs are finally coming to light as it was discovered that stale pineapple topped pizza were being used to fill the holes.

A spokesman said:

“Due to the pushback against pineapple topped pizza that has even generated a whole range of pineapple pizza memes we have found that customers order them but then can’t face the hate they get from their friends and so either don’t pick them up or throw them out. What better use of pizza than to repair our nations roads?”

The move has gone down well with pineapple pizza haters, whose motto “the only good pineapple pizza is a buried one” seems to have been prophetic. Though some Christian’s believe that prophesy died out after anchovies were included as a topping.

Whatever you may think, these pizza filled Domino’s potholes are a great marketing ploy, so much so that other companies are starting to get in on the act. News has reached us that two-day old Krispy Kremes are being used to patch walls along the interstate.

Reporter: John Spencer (aka Not the Bible)

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