Peter denies Trump 3 times!

Church Life

A grievous sin was committed today on social media by against God’s anointed leader, Donald Trump!

Peter Out, a Christian man from Alabama, who asked to remain anonymous, was caught denying Trump 3 times on facebook.

“I can’t believe it myself,” said Pastor O. Verredge, “I constantly observe members of my congregation via social networks in holy surveillance and accountability. The first denial came when someone said Trump was acting like a child in the debates and this man said nothing in Trump’s defence!”

“I mean our great president is defending God against the evil forces of liberalism, the least he could do is defend the president against such slurs on his character.”

“The second denial was when one his pagan friends posted an anti-Trump meme on his page and he said nothing!” said associate Pastor Redd A. Eff, “Ignoring a clear biblical command of righteous indignation against the unbeliever! He didn’t even call for bears to maul his so-called friend!”

“The third was when Peter said he thought about voting third party,” said long-time church member Jezebel Harpy, “How could he even consider such a thing when Franklin Graham said Trump is God’s anointed and John MacArthur said Trump was the only choice a true Christian can make! Clearly, the devil has clouded his thinking and led him astray.”

Members of the church “God’s Unity and Love” have agreed to ban said individual from their services. “We followed the clear biblical directive on discipline: rebuking him in private, then in the presence of others and then before the whole church. But in the end we had to ‘expel the immoral brother’ like Paul commanded the Corinthian church.”

Rumour has it that Peter went away weeping bitterly after hearing a rooster crowing and has repented but is still not welcome at church.

“This was a serious matter, which because of how public it was, will have consequences on the global church.  Whenever we debate the problem with evil, atheists will always be able to bring up this shortcoming as an argument in their favor,” sighed Pastor O. Verredge.

“However, if Trump tweets to Peter ‘Do you love me?’ three times then we will know that his repentance has been deemed acceptable and welcome him back.” 

Reporter: The lonely rogue

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.