Christians watch Superbowl halftime show to “confirm” its depravity


Christians across American tuned in to watch the Superbowl halftime show so they could then denounce its depravity on social media.

“I can’t believe that they would think that those young nubile half-dressed dancers were appropriate,” fumed IFB Pastor Bob Smith.

“It’s outrageous that they think that pole dancing is suitable for a family show!” complained Jim Jones, a reformed pastor.

And Lee Johnston, a fiery Pentecostal pastor, added, “No Christian should watch this kind show featuring sexy women gyrating in that provocative way!”

Our reporter at the Cee asked these upstanding pastors why they watched the Superbowl halftime show in the first place given that it features such things.

“Erm, as a pastor it’s important that I research such depravity to provide much needed guidance to my congregation,” replied Bob.

Jim added, “Yes, it’s my duty as a pastor to confirm it is as bad as I feared and, of course, I need to watch the whole thing just to be sure. After all, there might be some parts that are suitable for children…”

Bob confessed, “I was told that there was going to be a gospel choir in the halftime show.  Otherwise I wouldn’t have watched it. Honest! But I’m glad I did as I was then able to warn my brothers and sisters in Christ that there wasn’t any choir and they should avoid it.”

We at the Cee cannot help but be impressed with the pastors sacrifice to watching such debauchery and then warning the rest of Christendom of the dangers of watching it.

I know I’ll sleep safer at night because of their dedication.

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible 

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