Facebook censorship rulebook simplified for Millennials

How does Facebook monitor billions of posts a day in over 100 languages?

Very badly it seems according to the New York times who received more than 1,400 pages from the Facebook Rulebook used to censor posts on its social media platform.

Its 15,000 Millennial moderators around the world often have little understanding of shades of grey nor of the local language (save for Google Translations) and have but a few seconds to make a decision.

Facebook has vowed to update its rulebook so that censoring free speech is as easy as drinking a latte.

We at the Cee have obtained an exclusive copy of one of the pages from this long-awaited sequel:

• Democrates: GOOD
  
• Reublicans: BAD
  
• LGBT: GOOD
  
• Christians: BAD
  
• Palestine: GOOD
  
• Israel: BAD
  
• Pro-choice: GOOD
  
• Pro-life: BAD
  
• Cannibis: GOOD
  
• Guns: BAD
  
• Women: GOOD
  
• Men: BAD
  
• Immigrants: GOOD
  
• Caucasions: BAD
  

An anonymous spokesperson stated, “We have found reducing things down to a non-white and white binary choice makes things easier.  Coupled with the smiley face saves our moderators the difficulty of having to read words.”

“If your post has any one of the bad topics we delete it, and if you should say something negative about a positive thing then we’ll delete your profile.”

“This just makes everything easier – however, we recognise that this approach may not appeal to everyone – after all moderators do make mistakes.  That’s why we’re working on Facebook 2.0 where instead of writing your own comments you get to choose one of our specially vetted phrases from a drop-down menu.”

“We think this approach will appeal to everybody in our special interest groups and still allow people the freedom to choose one of our approved comments.”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible