Mall Santa viciously mauled by elves
Corpus Christi, TX- A mall Santa was viciously mauled by a pack of elves yesterday after they realized he wasn’t the real Santa.
Timothy Allen was hospitalized after he accidentally used his regular voice to call the next child in line. “We’re taught in Santa training school to perfectly mimic the real Santa’s voice. If we get this wrong then bad things can happen,” he was quoted as saying.
Fairy Nuff, the head elf said, “We hear the real Santa’s voice. We recognize him and we follow him. This was not Santa – he was imposter and deserves our contempt!”
“Elves have very keen ears. We train mall Santas to perfectly mimic his voice to prevent these things from happening,” said Matt Bussell, director of the Santa training school in South Texas. “With the Christmas season getting longer and longer each year, we’ve been quite concerned that something like this may happen. You can only go so long before you slip up.”
As for Mr. Allen, he is hoping to be out of the hospital by Spring as he is scheduled to play the Easter Bunny at the same mall beginning in mid March. He says he is now planning to train extra hard for that role. “If you think elves are vicious, then wait until you see the Easter Hot Cross Bunnies,” he said.