Undead rise on Halloween for early voting


As the tension before the US presidential 2020 election heats up no stone is being left unturned in the search for voters.  Even if that stone is a headstone.

As it becomes clear just how much is at stake, the number of people that could be co-opted into voting for one’s preferred party has been dwindling rapidly – first it was non-citizens, then illegal immigrants, tourists, and even cattle.  It was only a matter of time before previous generations were called up to “do their part.”

And so the zombie voter registration drive begins.

“It’s important that we honour those great voices who have gone before and give them their say in this great country of ours,” stated Jorad Skorzeny, “and Halloween is the perfect time to enlist them to our cause.”

However, some Democrats worry that the loss of their mental faculties in the zombie form of the individual may cause them to vote Republican. Others have criticised their undeadist attitude saying how exclusionary it seems, but no one really wants to hold hands with a corpse for the sake of a unity circle.

But the question remains, what party will they vote for?  Will they stay loyal to their previous life’s party or will they be swayed by short-term offers of brains?

We’ll keep you updated.

Idea by Furious Christian and Jeff the Comma Head.

Writer: John Spencer aka Not the Bible with some help from Dripping Ether.

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