Health & Safety to prevent repeat of Pentecost

Renowned historian, theologian, and archaeologist Joelsten Vamusten has uncovered early health and safety guidelines to prevent a repeat of Pentecost.

The archaeologist, who famously discovered the Early Church’s theological degrees in the Qumran caves and the offering plate used in Acts 2, found these health and safety rules etched into a sign near where the building where Pentecost occurred.

“The whole ‘mighty wind’ and ‘tongues of fire’ were clearly considered unsafe by the early church, especially when children were around,” explained Dr Vamusten, “these etchings tried to ensure that this sort of Pentecost thing would be prevented.”

“There’s the obvious things like ensuring buckets of water were on hand and that furniture was to be bolted to the ground and loose items stowed away during meeting to prevent the violent wind breaking anything.  This proved to be prophetic foresight provided by the Holy Spirit which stopped any damage after the place where they were meeting was shaken after prayer in Acts 4:31.”

“However, the real eye-opener was the requirement for women to wear flame retardant head coverings.  This key instruction solves the rather confusing passage in 1 Corinthians 11:6 where women in church were instructed by Paul to cover their heads or shave their hair off.  Such requirements now make perfect sense to prevent singed hair.”

Reporter: John Spencer aka Not the Bible