Reporter who hasn’t written an article in months continues to brag that he’s a writer for The Salty Cee
Twitter sensation Jeff the Comma Head hasn’t written an article for the Salty Cee since February 2019, yet he still brags to all his friends that he writes articles for the internet’s premier satirical website, The Salty Cee.
“Yep, the first thing I mention whenever I meet someone new is that I’m a writer for the Cee,” proclaimed Mr. Comma Head. “They’re always so dang impressed! It’s true, I haven’t submitted an article since February–and that one was a resubmission of one I did a year earlier where I literally crossed out the number 45 and changed it to 46–but still…” as his voice trailed off.
A quick review of his Twitter bio reveals that he continues to refer to himself as, “Ace reporter for the Salty Cee.”
We asked Jeff about his recent lack of material. “Well, you know, when I first started writing, I had all these ideas for articles and I was submitting like one a week. But after a while, things slowed down. It’s like I used up all my good ideas in the first few months. After that, I could only come up with ideas every few weeks, then every couple of months and now…well, now, it seems like my creativity is all dried up,” Jeff said as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
Little did Jeff know that the same happened to all of us reporters, but we kept on writing after realising that our undiscerning readers were none the wiser…
The editor is wondering whether he should tell Jeff that the Salty Cee is closing its doors soon or whether it’ll make no difference whatsoever…
Reporter: Jeff the Comma Head